3. Unless you are on the metro or bus, do not apologize for anything — ever. Apologizing is very serious business and should not be taken lightly. It is a sign of weakness and worse — of being wrong — and must therefore be studiously avoided. If circumstances call for an apology (being late for an appointment with an Anglo, for example), use humor and charm to deflect attention from your error. Remember, we are only wrong if we say so.
4. Never hesitate to scold others’ children or provide parenting advice to complete strangers. This is particularly true if the strangers are not French as they have much to learn about how to behave in public. If you are not a parent yourself (or better yet, your offspring are now adults), your perspective and guidance will be particularly well received.
5. As you know, France is the only country in the world that produces good wine. When presented with credible evidence to the contrary (a Sonoma Valley Cabernet, for example) be sure to express utter amazement and share your opinion that it must have originated from French vines.
6. On the subject of cheese, see #5.
7. As a true Parisian, you love New York and London and would even like to live there (for a period). As for the rest of the U.S. and England (and their inhabitants), a bemused distrust is only natural. Notable exception: San Francisco.
8. It’s important to remember that not only are all Americans obese, they sadly know nothing about good food. Most subsist on a steady diet of KFC and pureed Big Mac milkshakes. If you find yourself in the presence of an American who appears unusually thin (for an American), be sure to tell her that “she is not like most Americans.” This compliment will make her day.
9. Last, never forget that Americans and Brits are rarely facetious or sarcastic. Always take them at their word so as not to cause offense. 😉